Just the three of us.

Wish the three of us could be together again. It has been way too longggg.
I'm so envious of my sister's exciting life studying abroad.
We can't go to Paris in December because we can't change my sisters flight (since she's scheduled to come back december 11th or something). So sad :( I want to see my family there, esp. my grandparents, and to just be in Paris again. Ah it's a nice life there. So much more relaxing and so much nicer being closer to my family.

...

I saw a Post Secret card last blog and it had said something along the lines of "Nothing bad has happened to me yet. I'm scared for the tragedy waiting for me." I just thought about it again and I'm in the exact same situation. I was just thinking.. sometimes I feel like I don't deserve all the things that I have. There are so many better people than me that are working hard for what they have, struggling to live a better life. People with bigger and warmer hearts than me have gone through the worst. Why do they have to be the ones to go through it? I appreciate what I have but at the same time rarely do I take time to appreciate it. I haven't gone through tragedies like death, accidents, diseases, injuries. Nothing. I haven't experienced anything extremely grieving yet I make a fuss over the smallest things now. I'm not asking for anything bad to happen to me. I love my life. I'm just.. I know that eventually, I will have to go through something horrible. And that's so scary.

Truth

I tend to say whatever's on my mind. I'm sorry if anything I ever say comes out totally and completely unnecessary. Everything I say is with good intentions. Interpret that as you will.. I don't know really how to explain it haha. Well, just reading this makes me think about my bluntness. I think, though, that this secret is more of a trashtalkingmeancomments situation. I'm just talking about in general. Whatever is on my mind is going to come out. For example, if I don't like something, I will tell you. If you were being an ass, I'll tell you. I realized that when someone bothers me so much, no matter how much it is, I never tell them exactly how bad it is. I think it's because I know that most of my friends are good people that have good intentions, so I can't ever get fully mad at them.

Basically, I'm not good at lying. So, the truth it is.

Do you want a lunch tomorrow?

Talking to my mom at the dinner table:
Mom: So do I need to make you lunch tomorrow?
-Ummmm.
Mom: Yes or no??
-oh I have a football game to go to tomorrow night. So I won't be home.
Mom: .... You still haven't answered my question.
-ummmmm If you want to.....
Mom: That's not an answer...
-...Nah its fine.. I'll get cha or something.
Mom: Ok... do your friends go out and eat all the time?
-*shakes head*
Mom: Oh so they eat at school?
-Umm no
Mom: They pack lunches?
-No mom
Mom: Oh they eat from the cafeteriaaa
-actually no mom haha
Mom: What, so they eat nothing?!!
-noo
Mom: What! So what do they do then?!
-... they don't bring food or anything.
Mom: what?!?! What do you do then!?!
-.. We just sit there and talk mom!
Mom: Wow... interesting... They don't eat at all!?
- OMGGG NOO MOM. *break out in laughter* Oh my god, I don't know why I'm laughing. I'm trying to study here and you're asking me questions about lunch.
Mom: *Looks at me with her open eyes like "well yeah!" *

and from there, I just kept laughing at how ridiculous that whole conversation was, even while I washed the dishes
Mom: What's so funny?
- hahahahahhahaa. so ridiculous.

!!!!!!

I don't know how I skipped over this while looking through on Sunday. But WOW. Can you just FEEL the excitement from reading this post card? Because I certainly did. There's something about short simple phrases, underlines, and exclamation points that makes you go OHHH LAA LAA. You can just sense this person's willingness to change, ability to understand that what is done is done and you only have the present to work with. There's no use in dwelling in the past. Be productive and do what you can to fix it and move on. I'm extremely envious of whoever wrote this. It's one thing to want to change. It's another thing to actually do.

Details in the Fabric

This is a retarded blog today... It's random. As is the ice block above.

I feel really at ease when I have finished cleaning or I get organized with my school papers and notebooks. Cleaning makes me feel less stressed out because I'm being productive (in another manner, but still). Ironically though, stressing makes me worry less... because I feel like if I'm thinking about it and not putting it aside,
When my room is extremely tidy and freshly vacuumed, I can't help but constantly look up from my homework to just stare at my room. I like it when I'm doing homework and my papers, pencil, books, and whatever else I'm using is placed very neatly on my desk area. You know, like all straight horizontally and vertically. Oh man, just something about it makes me feel so sophisticated and professional. I like walking around school with no backpack but just a folder and keys because it makes me feel like a senior. Feeling like a senior.. is awesome.
-----
I realized a couple months ago that stressing out is something that will always be a part of me. I stress out because I want to get things done. But I'm not always stressed out, guys. Most of the time, I think its because I talk fast or ask a lot of questions or initiate things all the time. People mistake it as being stressed out when I'm honestly just...thinking aloud. I'm not worrying! It's really frustrating because I feel like I'm misunderstood and people don't understand my intentions. That also makes me think about how I have trouble communicating what I'm thinking or really want to say and then people take it the wrong way. It sucks. I sound stupid or, like I said, sometimes I sound as if I'm freaking out but I'M NOT!
Oh man.. always misunderstood. Got to work on that: better communication.

This is big.

It's our time, guys.
Senior year is supposed to be the most memorable year of our high school lives.
Don't regret any moment of it.
Don't half-ass anything because you'll get more satisfaction out of it if you don't.
And random thought during the day: don't think that if no one else cares, you shouldn't care either. Just gives you more reason to care.
I am not going to waste my time anymore. I am going to get things done. I am going to work hard. But man, I am going to have loads of fun at the same time. We sleep, we sit around, we check our facebooks all the time, we eat at yogurtland too much, we hang out, we go to christine's house too much, yet we still manage to get things done.
It's our time to learn more about each other, about ourselves, about what we want in life, what we need, what we don't.
These apps that we're writing are testing how well we know ourselves. Don't treat them as some tedious or retarded prompt. You have to find something that motivates you to do well in life. Something that defines you. Take it as a path of discovering yourself.
I think it's great. Good luck.

How do you define yourself in less than 1000 words through two prompts?

The first successful kite flight that I had was probably the happiest I had been for a very long time. I was by myself, in my neighborhood, completely alone and I could not contain my smile. I was smiling to myself, for the happiness and pure bliss that one simple kite gave me. For the first time, I found something truly unique. I believe that when someone is utterly happy, there are no words to explain it but mere words in lack of better words. It's like love. When you are in love, can you truly sum up your love in words, much less 3 words? No. This is exactly how I felt at that single moment.

Foreshadowing UC prompt essay answer.

S.A.F.

Shit, I just got really worried about college for the past 3 hours.

ASB07-08.

I miss them a lot.
I miss US a lot.

SAC Poop.

SAC duty's not that bad.
Good exercise walking down to the SAC during snack and lunches everyday.
and I like air-conditioned rooms.

Happyness

Why do something that doesn't make me happy?
Should I do something that I don't want to do right now but could benefit me in the long run?
It COULD but there's a chance it won't change anything.
Is it worth it? Am I willing to?

Get a job.

Get a job, earn some money.
Get a job, realize how rude people are in this world.
Get a job, realize how really stupid people are with the simplest tasks, i.e. ordering a smoothie.
Get a job, realize how customers don't care that they're taking up your time in being slow with making their order.
Get a job, realize how some people don't even know to pay at THE REGISTER??
Get a job, realize how you need some work on your own behavior around other store workers.
Get a job, realize that there are only a few truly generous, kind, friendly people in this world, esp. to strangers.
Get a job, learn to be patient and tolerant.
Get a job, learn to be independent
Get a job, learn some manners.
Get a job, learn to be courteous.
Get a job, learn to make eye contact.
Get a job, learn how great giving and getting a "thank you" is.
Get a job, learn some human decency.