Wah. Major Wah.

It really sucks how much I like this kid.
I haven't met a boy like him before, someone that I can like so much yet feel so comfortable around. Usually, when I'm around a boy I like, I get really nervous and can't think of anything to say. I mean, he definitely gives me the butterflies but I'm still feeling.. idk... warm and just..good around him.

I can stare into his eyes.
It's so hard for me to maintain eye contact with anyone, especially someone I like. But, all I want to do is stare into his eyes and CONTINUE to as long as I can without starting to look like I'm staring into his soul and then creeping him out. He's just got me so engaged and so engulfed in conversation with him and I never want to break that eye contact.

He LOVES WEIRD PEOPLE.
WHAT MORE CAN I ASK FOR?!?! I've ALWAYS ALWAYS said how what I want to find in a guy is a GOOD WEIRDness. He's got it. Wow. I can be weird around him and flail my arms without being embarrassed. I can make weird sounds and random, unrelated comments and feel perfectly fine. And he makes me laugh. and he laughs at me. Makes me feel like I'm FUNNY!!! when I usually just feel stupid when I try to crack a joke. He's so down-to-earth and genuine.

And he's respectable. Someone I would love to show off to my friends. Someone who's got a really good character: amiable, insightful, fun, humorous, outgoing, easy-going, great conversationalist. I would be sooo lucky..

But I'm not.
Thats why it sucks.
He likes someone else.
She's way more awesome and way cuter.

I guess, all this time, I've been just a good friend.
Don't get me wrong, I really am glad and grateful to be his friend.
But.
Yeah. just..
sigh.

And he may never know how I feel about him.
Because I want him to have his thing with her. And he's so happy and it makes me happy.
He talks about her like I talk about him.
I'm going to set my feelings aside.

Sigh.